Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
