he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
