Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize