i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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