I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
