She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i was born a porn star she said
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
the liver wants what the liver wants
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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