peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
