Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
