By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
