dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
