I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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