No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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