I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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