Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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