Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
