I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Drunk is a universal language darling
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
