Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
