remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize