Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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