If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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