Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
