Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
