oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
