Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize