so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
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Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the day after is always just damage control
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
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She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
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