Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can't turn off my feet"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
