hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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