DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
