party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
