Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize