I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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