it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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