i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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