are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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