I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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