Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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