Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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