Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
there is glitter all over my balls
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