But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
