Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
