dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
