READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
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