Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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