WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
How's work?
Spinning.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
