doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
