Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
