Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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