I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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