I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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