can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Randomize
