i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
