he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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