i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
