ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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