ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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