Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
