windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
