She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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