I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
