sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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