I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
